A number of Pitzer students have filed complaints with Dean of Students after failing to receive credit for what they had believed to be an introductory class on "Urban Social Economics and Culture". The class was being taught by an unidentified vagrant whose students knew him only as "Professor Mittens."The students allegedly mistook many of the bizarre class assignments to simply be an example of the "alternative curriculum" Pitzer has become known for.
"Our first few lectures were mostly pertaining to the benefit of a good can of beans," said Arther McKenns, Pitzer '10, "but eventually we moved on to more advanced topics."
Some of those "advanced topics" consisted of sign makin', cart snatchin', and barrel roastin'. Students eventually became suspicious when they were assigned to procure Professor Mittens an eightball of meth.
A StagHen investigation has revealed that Professor Mittens in fact, did not have a doctorate degree at all. Indeed, his Phd had been bestowed upon him by another homeless man because, "he talk real fancy."
Many outsiders have wondered why students of a top liberal arts college were not able to immediately distinguish a destitute drifter from a published doctor. The students had thought the class was merely an exercise in unorthodox, counter culture education. In their defense, during a StagHen interview, Professor Mittens proved to be quite eloquent.
"Couple of real good boots, yep ...mrsh rah." said Professor Mittens regarding the recent controversy, "It's not the whole way, Luke 3:10, because thout areth a socialist! God Bless. God Bless."